the first shall be last, and the last shall be first

What a paradox this statement is...

I went to Freedomize for the first time last night (pretty cool, really good speaker, boring music...haha). The speaker was talking about our constant desires to be the best...to be the greatest amongst our peers. I've always struggled with this - always wanting to be bigger, stronger, richer, wiser - maybe it's because of my upbringing...the pressures from family...the pressure from being brought up in a rich Chinese cultured church. The speaker talks about how our world is trapped in a constant rat race towards the top. People climbing over each other and doing everything poassible just to pump their chest a little bit and look down on others for an instant. Whats worse is that this culture is so strong that not even the church walls could hold it back. "Who will be the greatest in heaven?" the disciples asked, thinking in their heads "Is it me? Is it me?". I'm at a point in my life where at times I care more about money and worldly success than being satisfied with the person that God has created me to be. And that is pretty sad.

"I'd rather be last and happy than first and lost"
Is this a statement that describes your life?